Sunday, July 19, 2015

Sunday Feelings

I wish I hadn't deleted your number

so I could have the satisfaction of deleting it again.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Exceptional Circumstances

You want extraordinary things to happen? Okay sugar, we'll give you something so extraordinary that you can't talk about it. You'll see it on the evening news, in magazines, all over the internet, but no-one must know the connection. It will be so extraordinary that it will alternate between driving you to drink and smoke and curse, and adopting a zen-like que sera, sera feeling. It is huge, life-defining, television mini-series extraordinary. And yet you must not talk about it. Do not talk about it.

Saturday, June 20, 2015

Regret

I knew you were heading for trouble
the minute you started caring about his backstory.
I thought
That's it, baby.

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Initial Thoughts of a Social Media Detox

Two initial thoughts after a weekend social media detox:

1. I wonder what everyone is up to?

2. Christ, I'm bored.

I totally cracked. I don't even think I lasted 24 hours. I received an email that alerted me to a Facebook notification and when I logged in, I had three notifications and a new friend request. I checked Instagram and saw I had some mentions. I realised that I hadn't told anyone who doesn't read this blog about my detox and it felt like not checking in was kind of rude. 

And then I looked at Pinterest and it was all over.

I like the people I follow on Twitter, they're funny and clever. I use Twitter as my main source of news and what's happening around the world. I like Instagram and getting a glimpse into the lives of the people I follow all around the world. And Pinterest, as pointless as it is, is fun. Cutting them out of my life, even for a few hours, felt like punishment.

So rather than a detox, I think I'll just go on a social media diet instead.

I don't have a problem. You have a problem.

Friday, May 8, 2015

OVERSTIMULATED

I feel lost. There are too many voices, too many bright lights catching my eye. Too many people to whom I can compare myself. I don't measure up. I am not doing my best. I can do better.

I am not doing. Not doing. I have been searching for the answers without knowing the questions but they are both here within me. I have been too distracted to realise. 

I have everything I need. It's all right here.

It's alright here.

An experiment: one week, no tools of comparison. Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, blogs*, Facebook (which serves more as a tool to rile me right the fuck up anyhow). 

Overstimulated, it's time to still the external noise and let the internal be heard.

*Perhaps not my own, undecided

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

business time

I have spent hours upon hours researching this little business idea of mine because I have bugger all idea of how one goes about setting up a business. Or small, on the side, freelance thing, I should say. Not a fuck it all let's chuck in the day job type thing - not yet, anyway. Working for myself, being my own boss, that is the long-term goal. I resent being told what to do too much to not at least try to go it alone.

But where to start? How to start? HOW? I have been brainstorming and thinking thinking thinking and then chickening out: Oh well, another flash in the pan idea; coulda woulda shoulda. Then I give myself a mental slap because that is my MO. I think of a good idea, roll it around for a week or so and rather than have the conviction to follow it through, I let fear of failure and of just giving it a go get the better of me. This time however, I am determined to try. I did say I would make 2015 my year/bitch, after all. Other things have come together, this may well too.

And the old "if you're looking for a sign, this is it" came into play tonight when I walked into the library and saw on the new release shelf From Passion to Profit: A Step-By-Step Guide to Making Money from Your Hobby by Selling Online by Clare Hughes. If it does what it says on the cover, I should be up and running in six weeks. 

Eek.

Yay.

(Really, eek.)

Sunday, April 26, 2015

the mystery of the roses

In order to lead a fascinating life, one brimming with art, music, intrigue and romance, you must surround yourself with precisely those things.

Kate Spade


One of my biggest fears is living an ordinary life. No major excitements, no mystery, no big complicated romances. An average life is a complete and total anathema; it terrifies me. Yet, ask me to explain what I mean by an extraordinary life and I probably couldn't say anything else than I want something more. Kate Spade's quote above says it better than I can. 

Intrigue and romance collided on Thursday night when I came home to find two red roses tied with a bow left on my doorstep. Initially I freaked out, thinking STALKER ALERT and that I would inspire a future episode of Law & Order: SVU when some psychopath made a lampshade out of my skin. After all, there is literally no-one I can think of who would be likely to give me flowers. There is no-one. No-one. (How sad.)

But then I remembered this quote and receiving anonymous roses became quite exciting. Who are they from? Will I come home one night and trip over another bunch of flowers? Why were the two roses and not just the standard single red rose?

And perhaps the most intriguing question of all, was it a case of mistaken identity and they weren't even meant for me at all?