You want extraordinary things to happen? Okay sugar, we'll give you something so extraordinary that you can't talk about it. You'll see it on the evening news, in magazines, all over the internet, but no-one must know the connection. It will be so extraordinary that it will alternate between driving you to drink and smoke and curse, and adopting a zen-like que sera, sera feeling. It is huge, life-defining, television mini-series extraordinary. And yet you must not talk about it. Do not talk about it.
Two initial thoughts after a weekend social media detox:
1. I wonder what everyone is up to?
2. Christ, I'm bored.
I totally cracked. I don't even think I lasted 24 hours. I received an email that alerted me to a Facebook notification and when I logged in, I had three notifications and a new friend request. I checked Instagram and saw I had some mentions. I realised that I hadn't told anyone who doesn't read this blog about my detox and it felt like not checking in was kind of rude.
And then I looked at Pinterest and it was all over.
I like the people I follow on Twitter, they're funny and clever. I use Twitter as my main source of news and what's happening around the world. I like Instagram and getting a glimpse into the lives of the people I follow all around the world. And Pinterest, as pointless as it is, is fun. Cutting them out of my life, even for a few hours, felt like punishment.
So rather than a detox, I think I'll just go on a social media diet instead.